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May
BRANDON WEBB!
I heard some sports talking head this morning talking about Josh Beckett being the best pitcher in the majors at 4-2. Fiddlesticks! Brandon Webb is 8-0!
He pitched a complete game yesterday, saving the bullpen. Of course, it helped that he was staked to a chalupa-sized 8 runs, thanks in part to Chris Young’s 2-run homer, Chris Snyder’s 2-run double, and Justin Upton’s solo shot. Also, The Sheriff is back in town. Mark Reynolds went 3-4 with an RBI and a run.
Eric Byrnes is thinking of running a bakery. He served up another bagel (0-5) yesterday. I won’t repeat his batting average here in case kids are reading.
I drink herbal teas that are my own blends. This week, I have been adding the memory supplement ginko biloba because I can’t remember the last time Byrnesie had an RBI.
I am trying to figure out what he can do to right himself. Maybe he ought to stop trying to grow a mustache for a hitting streak. His body is trying to put too much energy into a futile effort (mustache) and doesn’t have enough for a good effort (hitting streak).
Actually, there are plenty of other more important things wrong now. But this is a celebratory essay so I won’t go on about it.
BRANDON WEBB! He’s the first NL pitcher since Pedro Martinez in ‘97 to start 8-0. The D’Backs are starting to talk contract extension with him. Ca-Ching! And he deserves it!
Now Danny Haren goes up against the Cubs at Wrigley today at 11:20 PDT/MST. Day game on a Friday? And with no off day for travel? There has been some weird scheduling of day games this season.
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I need to stop feeling sorry for Barry Zito and concentrate all of my pity on Eric. I know he’s frustrated. Don’t give up, Byrnesie.
May 9th, 2008 at 5:04 pmHe looks clueless out there. The first thing he has to do to get his certainty back.
May 10th, 2008 at 9:35 amYou can feel sorry for both of them, I do!
And it’s the ’stache that’s ruining his game. I’m serious.
LOOSE THE NOSE HAIR, BYRNESIE.
May 10th, 2008 at 11:36 amHe said he’d grow the nose hair as long as he was hitting. A batting slump is Mother Nature’s way of telling him he can’t grow a ’stache.
May 10th, 2008 at 9:08 pm